001 · Beginning Again
musings from the in between
Mel Andrel is a self taught artist, graphic designer and creative human being based in Portland, Maine.
I ~ EXISTING IN BETWEEN.
Recently I picked up The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin, which echoed the words I’ve had on repeat lately. Creativity isn’t strictly limited to a profession.
Lately I’ve been in between my worlds. The most simple way to word it is that I'm growing but words do not feel like enough lately to sum up the sensations in my body, shifting through this existence and soaking in the beauty of it all. I am growing bigger than I ever dreamed and yet still holding space for all the growth that is still possible and, at times, growing in ways which have been scary and difficult to process. I am discovering new things about myself and discovering my relationship with art is much more complex and beautiful than I ever imagined.
One of my favorite writers,Marlee Grace, recently wrote: “The in between time is where everything actually lives. The gathering of data, the rest the body needs, the little sparks of inspiration that you can only find from waiting, not from looking.”
I have been thinking a lot about the in between and art. The time between an idea and an illustration. The fiction reading, listening to the sound of waves, observing color and sound and light and composition in every day things. The things you don’t see happening behind the screen... the list of in betweens goes on.
I skipped last months newsletter - maybe you noticed, maybe you didn’t. Over the last two months my work life has shifted and expanded in unimaginable ways. In return, I have been afforded more financial stability and more freedom to just be.
“The real work of the artist
is a way of being in the world.”
- Rick Rubin
Taking a break from my art shop, from digital art, and from sharing art frequently on social media created a lot of self doubt and confusion around my identity as an artist that I had to sit with for a bit. However, allowing myself to exist in between reminded me that being an artist (and being successful at it) is not just about making and selling art but simply being.
How humbling it is to be reminded that we are always in between a new beginning and that most things are never certain.
II ~ HOW IT GOES. * TW: Mention of death.
Last week I picked up a fiction book for the first time in years. My therapist told me that people who read fiction tend to more empathetic. Personally, I was just trying to satiate my hunger for drama.
Growing up, I read a lot of books. I pretty much always had my head buried in a fiction novel, manga, or a comic of some sort. I used it as a way to escape and as a way to survive. As it turns out, not all distractions are a bad thing.
Since fourteen I have lived in a perpetual state of survival mode and, at the ripe age of twenty-eight, I am learning that I cannot simply ‘girl boss’ my way through life.
“Everything goes. I am working very hard at not thinking about how everything goes.” ― Joan Didion, Play It As It Lays
The only thing certain in this world is death. I have been thinking about this a lot as I currently process the aging and declining health of my paternal grandmother. Rather than ruminate on the eventual death of my closest living family member, I found myself itching for some sort of distraction. I thought, why don’t I try reading again?
Ironically I picked up Didion, whose anxiety and dread permeates much of her work and whose story of alienation, loneliness, and purpose forced me to acknowledge my own sense of dread.
How powerful it feels to just acknowledge my feelings and hold space for the discomfort.
While I may stick to less depressing books for a little while, I am learning to soak up long form media that roots me in my own practice and expands my way of being.
III~ SHOW / TELL
I created an account on Goodreads to document the return of my long-lost love of words. If you’re on there too, let’s be in a secret sexy book club together.
Really loving Night Moves, a new favorite bakery/cafe just moved in!
Last week I directed a brand shoot for my client, Silver Therapeutics, and partnered with my good friend and photographer, Madeline Harris. I am excited to share more when the time comes. In the meantime, here’s a behind the scenes pic!
Sign I designed for Silver Therapeutics’s Bennington, VT location:
I recently fell back in love with Pinterest and have been creating boards like crazy. Give them a look-see.
I will be closing my online shop and taking a pause from markets for the rest of the summer beginning on July 30th. In the meantime, you can still purchase my art at these stores and reach out via email or faire to stock my work in your brick & mortar.
My last pop-up for a little while will be a sweet one. Join me Sunday July 29th at Coveside Coffee from 10-2pm.
XOXO,
🌀Email: hello@melandrel.com